I can't help but to post again today. Let me first say that man I love when I hear Jesus speaking to me and then He confirms it through someone else, a song, etc
Tonight at youth in Smyrna Jesus kept saying "Rest my daughter, Rest." Those who know me know that this is a difficult thing for me to actually rest. I'm not talking about sleep...I'm good at sleeping ;)
I'm talking about spiritual rest. The kind of rest that brings deep peace and stillness...trust in Jesus. Rest...to simply abide in Jesus as He works...abide in the vine allowing His spirit to flow through and through.
Tonight Jeus gave me a few sort of visions. One of them pertaining to rest and i just had a vision that I was lying in the grass on my back staring at the clouds next to a stream of water. The water was flowing so gently. Jesus came to be and said ' let me give you new and fresh water' so He guided me to kneel down and cup fresh water in my hand to drink and splash on my face. Then we walked hand in hand down the bank of the stream into the unknown...but still hand in hand. I was assured that Jesus is with me and for me! He so cares for me.
Another vision Jesus gave me was while I was singing my feet began to feel wind just blow constantly. It was very weird actually feeling wind on my feet and not knowing where it came from and not being anywhere near an air vent. Jesus gently whispered in my ear that He is fanning the flame on my feet...preparing me to GO!! to Go tonight, tomorrow, the next day, June 22 and forevermore. He is fanning the flame on my feet that He calls beautiful.
In 2 timothy 1:14 Paul says to guard the good depostit entrusted to you!!!! woah!! haha Jesus has trusted me with the desires that He has placed in my heart. He trusts me to go to siegel high school, swaziland, utc, wherever. He trusts me!! He believes in me and is fanning the flame on my feet to not only meet physical needs but to bring THE living water and bread of life to people and to proclaim fearlessly the love of Jesus!!! thats the good news, the love of Jesus!!
This lady began to speak to the youth and i swear it was straight up Jesus speaking through her and she was speaking about being hungry...hungry for more of Jesus. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled!! Thats a promise...they shall be filled. But you have to want it!! Oh there are so many hungry souls!!
She began talking about physical hunger and relating that to spiritual hunger. Immediently I thought of Jivens and my lil buddies in Haiti and the soon to be buddies in Swaziland...I thought of their literal hunger. I believe I am connecting some dots now...You see jesus has given me a deep compassion for the poor, diseased and hungry right....well that passion has just gotten deeper because so far at first i have only seen the physical need and its such a huge task and just looking at how to 'fix it' is daunting...now I have seen the deeper and much worse issue that not only exists in third world countires but also in my very own city....hungry souls. I'm thankful God has shown me the hungriest of them all because now it is showing me the other and more deeper side of hunger and that is the hunger for something greater...we are a starved people. either that are we are fat on various things that will never ever satisfy. Jesus is beckoning me to bring life that He offers...to offer living water and the bread of life not only in Africa, but here too.
I am not going to Africa to meet just physcial needs...I'm going to Africa in hopes, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to meet spiritual needs and spiritual starvation.
Continue to pray with me please as Jesus continues to prepare my heart and take me deeper!
More of Jesus, Less of me.
Love,
LB Harbin
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Perfect Love Drives out ALL Fear
Last night I was talking with one of my swazi teammates and can i just first say that I absolutely LOVE talking with each of them and so look forward to finally uniting with them in person come June 22. I can't wait.
Anyway, so we were talking about fear. Fear in going to Swazi, etc. Isn't it crazy though haha what are we getting ourselves into and I can't believe I'm really doing this. But this journey is so exciting and with that comes much fear and anxiety. That's exactly what Satan wants too...he wants the fear to paralyze us. Instead of letting fear paralyze us I pray that it compels us and allow the perfect love of Jesus to drive it out. In 1 john it says that perfect love drives out all fear. Therefore, I have nothing to fear. God is love. His love is bigger and greater than all my fear. I pray that instead of giving Satan a foothold with our fears and anxieties that we would bring that before the throne of grace and allow the love of God to penetrate it and use it for His glory and to prepare us even more for what's ahead.
One man always says that Fear can be a good thing because in our fear we have two options...either let it control us andplace whatever it is we fear above God OR we can allow the Holy Spirit to rise above and move in that fear. I think those are the best places to be even though we don't like not being in control. But when the fear comes to just release it and allow Love to rise above, allow Holy Spirit to take the wheel from there ya know? I have no idea if that made sense, but it did in my head so if you don't get it, I'll try to explain again in bettter terms.
Well thats all for now. Time to head out to school.
Keep praying for myself and my 7 other teammates.
Love,
LB Harbin
I'm so thankful that Jesus never lets go of my hand even in my moments of fear, anxiety and uncertainty.
Anyway, so we were talking about fear. Fear in going to Swazi, etc. Isn't it crazy though haha what are we getting ourselves into and I can't believe I'm really doing this. But this journey is so exciting and with that comes much fear and anxiety. That's exactly what Satan wants too...he wants the fear to paralyze us. Instead of letting fear paralyze us I pray that it compels us and allow the perfect love of Jesus to drive it out. In 1 john it says that perfect love drives out all fear. Therefore, I have nothing to fear. God is love. His love is bigger and greater than all my fear. I pray that instead of giving Satan a foothold with our fears and anxieties that we would bring that before the throne of grace and allow the love of God to penetrate it and use it for His glory and to prepare us even more for what's ahead.
One man always says that Fear can be a good thing because in our fear we have two options...either let it control us andplace whatever it is we fear above God OR we can allow the Holy Spirit to rise above and move in that fear. I think those are the best places to be even though we don't like not being in control. But when the fear comes to just release it and allow Love to rise above, allow Holy Spirit to take the wheel from there ya know? I have no idea if that made sense, but it did in my head so if you don't get it, I'll try to explain again in bettter terms.
Well thats all for now. Time to head out to school.
Keep praying for myself and my 7 other teammates.
Love,
LB Harbin
I'm so thankful that Jesus never lets go of my hand even in my moments of fear, anxiety and uncertainty.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Update of Goodness
Praise the Lord!!!! I just wanted to give yall an update! It has been so humbling and encouraging to see how God has been providing the funds for Swaziland. I am only about $600 short!!! YAAAAAAY! Also, it has been so awesome how I have been connected with people who have either already been there before as well as getting to know my team mates better!! I love it!
I can not believe that it is only a few short months away. 3 more months!!! ahh! I already know that these next few months will fly by very quickly. Many events are upcoming and it is extremely exciting as well as overwhelming. I guess you can say it's a big ole spring. haha. I turn 18, go to prom, get out of school, and graduate!!! Then of course....go to Swaziland, Africa! OH SNAP!!!!
Please continue to pray for me as I'm sure it will be here before you know it.
Oh, and many have asked about what's next college wise...haha that is a great question and I am unsure of the answer to that. Currently I am looking into Bethany College of Missions in Minnesota, but like I said I have no earthly idea. If all else fails though...UTC is my back up plan.
Pray also as I continue to prepare for Swaziland...so many mixed emotions.
Thanks for listening to me and keeping up with my updates. Keep sending the encouragement and prayers my way! :)
Love,
Laura Beth Harbin
I can not believe that it is only a few short months away. 3 more months!!! ahh! I already know that these next few months will fly by very quickly. Many events are upcoming and it is extremely exciting as well as overwhelming. I guess you can say it's a big ole spring. haha. I turn 18, go to prom, get out of school, and graduate!!! Then of course....go to Swaziland, Africa! OH SNAP!!!!
Please continue to pray for me as I'm sure it will be here before you know it.
Oh, and many have asked about what's next college wise...haha that is a great question and I am unsure of the answer to that. Currently I am looking into Bethany College of Missions in Minnesota, but like I said I have no earthly idea. If all else fails though...UTC is my back up plan.
Pray also as I continue to prepare for Swaziland...so many mixed emotions.
Thanks for listening to me and keeping up with my updates. Keep sending the encouragement and prayers my way! :)
Love,
Laura Beth Harbin
Monday, March 12, 2012
What Keeps Me Awake at Night
Do you want to know what keeps me awake at night while everyone else is snoozing the night away? Injustice. That is what keeps me awake at night...it makes me toss and turn and wish I could sleep it away, but I can not. My heart won't let me sleep...my heart is way to heavy. Today Invisible Children came to school today and the reality of Haiti, Swaziland, Uganda, and many other places was once again impressed upon my heart. I don't think you really get it...it hits my heart like a ton of bricks to where it's hard to even breathe. I watched the Kony video and had to hold myself from throwing up when I first watched it the other night. I try so hard to not think about all of this as much and live a 'normal' senior year. But, I can not do that. I am not normal. I am not living the 'senior year' everyone expects. I try...but it's not who I am created to be. It ends up being awkward for me trying to be what people expect me to be, especially senior year with college, etc. There is so much more to life than meets the eye! There is a hurting world in your own city...yet we are so concerned with ourselves that we don't see it!! I want to graciously help you to see! You see ,it is so much easier to look away and pretend that other people are involved....but guess what, that's apathy...its worse to see something and do nothing than to be against it all together. Let that sink in...
I'm here to tell you that I won't just sit on my couch...I literally can't even if I wanted to because the impression upon my heart, eyes, and ears is too deep for me to sit.
I can't sleep knowing that Jivens in Haiti may not have had a meal today and definitley didn't have clean water. I can't sleep knowing that there are 27 million slaves worldwide today including child labor and sex trade. I can't sleeping knowing that more than half of the world is living in poverty while I complain about my meal not being warm enough or exact. I can't sleep knowing that the HIV/AIDS orpahned children in Nsoko, Swaziland, whom I have yet to meet, are living day to day with no one to nurture and love them. Nsoko suffers from drought, poverty, AND the highest HIV/AIDS prevelance in the WORLD!!! I can't sleep!
I can't sleep due to the things I saw and heard and felt in Haiti, but also due to what I will hear and see and feel in Swaziland.
How is it that thousands upon thousands of people worldwide are suffering daily from preventable diseases? haha, this seriously makes absoultely no sence to me and it makes me sick! I have money that I would rather spend on a new pair of chacos and you know what?? I have 4 pair of chacos. For the price of one pair of chacos I can send a child to school for a whole year!! I want to put this on me so that I don't place the blame on anyone else. Let me tell you though, we have all played a part in human suffering and I began to realize it back in July of 2011 and since then I haven't been able to sleep. I'm currently exploring many options of my next step before I leave for Swaziland and even when I return...
I guess that's why this blog is called 'Journey to the unknown' so please bear with me as I hash out my heart with you guys as it is very difficult to articulate and not pretty at all...but I mean, what my heart breaks for is not pretty at all. Don't let the happy go lucky mission trips fool you. They are by no means easy or prancing through daisies. Same with the gospel...don't let pastors fool you...It's not easy to swallow. Jesus asks you and I in red letters if we are willing to drop everything to follow Him. If you ask me that's not an easy thing to read. He asks me to let go of everything else and hold on to Him. He says I cant serve two masters...it's impossible. He didn't come to please the rich or healthy. He came for the lost, diseased, sick, and outcasts of society. Mattew 25 states that Jesus is the diseased, outcast and poor. Check it our for yourself...Jesus says that whatever we do for the least of these we do to Him directly.
Oh Lord, help me see each person as if looking in your eyes. Help me to see each human beings as made fearfully and wonderfully in Your very image. I am no different from the Haitian, Swazi, American politician, Mega church preacher, sex slave, child slave, prostitute, or even murderer. Jesus it's difficult to know that each human on the face of the Earth is created by you with joy in your eyes-both the ones i can't stand and those i love with passion. Each created by you. Father break through in my own city, my own country. Let this generation rise up from selfishness, injustice, and apathy. I pray for breakthrough Lord in Swaziland, Haiti, Central Africa, America, South America, Middle East, Europe, India, China, Asia, the Pacific, Latin America, Canada. Father-wipe accross this universe with your UNFAILING LOVE. It does not make sence, but it is eternal and life giving and life altering. I pray for people to stand up. More disciple Lord, more laborers for the harvest is plentiful!! More true Jesus followers after your heart. More of you Lord less of me, les of us. Be magnified and exalted. Take what me and the rest of the world have meant for evil and use it for good like you promised!!! I PROCLAIM THAT YOU, LORD, ARE BIGGER THAN POVERTY, DISEASES, ORPHANED/ABANDONED CHILDREN, DROUGHT, FAMINE, WAR, SEX TRADE, and CHILD SLAVES. YOU ARE BIGGER!!! I believe in you!! He that is in me is greater than he who is in the world. I believe and trust that i have power of Holy Spirit dwelling within me that can change this world. Because of You I can do as You did and even greater..only because of You. It is YOU. Thank you for the priveledge of carrying your task for justice and love and peace, nourishment, and JESUS to Haiti and Swaziland and even Murfreesboro, Tn. May you increase. More of you Jesus. Make your disciples toss and turn for your people. Thank you Jesus for your LOVE. Act now Father. Please come swiftly.
Amen, Amen.
I'm here to tell you that I won't just sit on my couch...I literally can't even if I wanted to because the impression upon my heart, eyes, and ears is too deep for me to sit.
I can't sleep knowing that Jivens in Haiti may not have had a meal today and definitley didn't have clean water. I can't sleep knowing that there are 27 million slaves worldwide today including child labor and sex trade. I can't sleeping knowing that more than half of the world is living in poverty while I complain about my meal not being warm enough or exact. I can't sleep knowing that the HIV/AIDS orpahned children in Nsoko, Swaziland, whom I have yet to meet, are living day to day with no one to nurture and love them. Nsoko suffers from drought, poverty, AND the highest HIV/AIDS prevelance in the WORLD!!! I can't sleep!
I can't sleep due to the things I saw and heard and felt in Haiti, but also due to what I will hear and see and feel in Swaziland.
How is it that thousands upon thousands of people worldwide are suffering daily from preventable diseases? haha, this seriously makes absoultely no sence to me and it makes me sick! I have money that I would rather spend on a new pair of chacos and you know what?? I have 4 pair of chacos. For the price of one pair of chacos I can send a child to school for a whole year!! I want to put this on me so that I don't place the blame on anyone else. Let me tell you though, we have all played a part in human suffering and I began to realize it back in July of 2011 and since then I haven't been able to sleep. I'm currently exploring many options of my next step before I leave for Swaziland and even when I return...
I guess that's why this blog is called 'Journey to the unknown' so please bear with me as I hash out my heart with you guys as it is very difficult to articulate and not pretty at all...but I mean, what my heart breaks for is not pretty at all. Don't let the happy go lucky mission trips fool you. They are by no means easy or prancing through daisies. Same with the gospel...don't let pastors fool you...It's not easy to swallow. Jesus asks you and I in red letters if we are willing to drop everything to follow Him. If you ask me that's not an easy thing to read. He asks me to let go of everything else and hold on to Him. He says I cant serve two masters...it's impossible. He didn't come to please the rich or healthy. He came for the lost, diseased, sick, and outcasts of society. Mattew 25 states that Jesus is the diseased, outcast and poor. Check it our for yourself...Jesus says that whatever we do for the least of these we do to Him directly.
Oh Lord, help me see each person as if looking in your eyes. Help me to see each human beings as made fearfully and wonderfully in Your very image. I am no different from the Haitian, Swazi, American politician, Mega church preacher, sex slave, child slave, prostitute, or even murderer. Jesus it's difficult to know that each human on the face of the Earth is created by you with joy in your eyes-both the ones i can't stand and those i love with passion. Each created by you. Father break through in my own city, my own country. Let this generation rise up from selfishness, injustice, and apathy. I pray for breakthrough Lord in Swaziland, Haiti, Central Africa, America, South America, Middle East, Europe, India, China, Asia, the Pacific, Latin America, Canada. Father-wipe accross this universe with your UNFAILING LOVE. It does not make sence, but it is eternal and life giving and life altering. I pray for people to stand up. More disciple Lord, more laborers for the harvest is plentiful!! More true Jesus followers after your heart. More of you Lord less of me, les of us. Be magnified and exalted. Take what me and the rest of the world have meant for evil and use it for good like you promised!!! I PROCLAIM THAT YOU, LORD, ARE BIGGER THAN POVERTY, DISEASES, ORPHANED/ABANDONED CHILDREN, DROUGHT, FAMINE, WAR, SEX TRADE, and CHILD SLAVES. YOU ARE BIGGER!!! I believe in you!! He that is in me is greater than he who is in the world. I believe and trust that i have power of Holy Spirit dwelling within me that can change this world. Because of You I can do as You did and even greater..only because of You. It is YOU. Thank you for the priveledge of carrying your task for justice and love and peace, nourishment, and JESUS to Haiti and Swaziland and even Murfreesboro, Tn. May you increase. More of you Jesus. Make your disciples toss and turn for your people. Thank you Jesus for your LOVE. Act now Father. Please come swiftly.
Amen, Amen.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Haha Blown Away. WOW
It is 1230 am here in the boro right now and for those who know me...yes it's a miracle I'm awake this late, but let me just say it's because I am so drunk on the spirit right now (Eph 5).
I have no idea what kind of response people will get when they read this, and frankly that's okay because my Jesus indeed is alive and on the move right here and now in rutherford and davidson county. Oh goodness how He is already preparing me for what's to come by doing things now!!
Okay, whew let me just catch my breath, ok i don't have time for that right now. wow, wow.
Tonight me, Travis, and Molly went to a youth group in Smyrna called Springhouse Church. Boy was I blown away by the Spirit of the Lord. I've never in my life met a youth group outside of a 'jesus high confrence' that is soo on fire for the Lord and that is so in love with Jesus...haha they are more than just 'christians' they are followers and seekers of Jesus that desire MORE of JESUS!! oh my my! so encouraging and just wooooooow. This youth group is so passionate and spirit filled that it's just woooooah! ha ok so worship was so goooood. I got to pray with this girl whom I have never met, named Kayti and man she is one amazing and jesus lovin chick. It was so cool to pray over one another...so liberating and wow.
They never even spoke a 'message'. All they did was sing and leave the mic open for anyone to share how God's moving in their midst and boy was that amazing to shout praises to God together for what He's doing!! oh man my God is NOT dead yall!! He is ALIVE!! I dont think we really get that. He still heals people. He has healed a friend of mines moms cancer!! That's something no doctor can do...only the great physician jesus can!! only Jesus!! Oh my goodness, more Lord!
ok so after the amazing night of worship and testimonies the three of us got in contact with Kayti and Alysha. These two girls are so on fire for the Lord that its incredible! They have a faith that can move mountains and I look forward to getting to know my sisters more.
We all decided to go to sonic to get a slushy...well haha so we started talking about Jesus and how we weren't really sure about coming cause it might be 'too much'. haha whatever!! you can never have too much of Jesus. You can never have too much of the spirit and boy did we experience the power of the holy spirit tonight. So as we were laughing and talking about how cool it is that God ordained this to all take place in perfect timing, this dude named Justin comes up and was like dude are yall talkin bout prophecy and jesus and we were like heck yes!! so him and 3 other girls sit with us and we just laughed and thought it so cool how God was ordaining all of this divine appointmens right!! haha then we all began to surround one another and pray, prophecy and lavish love on one another!! oh my word. I've never experienced something more moving than praying with strangers...now friends and bro's and sista's, to a God that is so alive and powerful and soo good!!! Oh my word it was so good. We lost track of time...we litterally were standing there for atleast an hour and were praying over each other in the middle of sonic...a group of people who just met each other who had EVERYTHING IN COMMON (Acts 2) How awesome...its the CHURCH. this is church people!!! its NOT a building and structure set time or sermon length or amount of worship songs. haha church has no boundaries, no limits, no barriers or restraints. church is when two or more meet in HIS name!!! oh my goodness! Jesus you are Goood!!! Praise you LORD!! More fire on Murfreesboro, Smyrna and Nashville! Jesus you reign!! Oh Lord thank you for divine appointments and how funny and good you are. Than you for confirmation and joy and love and laughter and brothers and sisters. Oh thank you!!
Man, I had to get that out...so I don't know what any of yall think of that, but man I just experience more of Jesus and His spirit tonight and there's no turning back. He's taking me deeper with Him and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
more of jesus, less of me.
LB
I have no idea what kind of response people will get when they read this, and frankly that's okay because my Jesus indeed is alive and on the move right here and now in rutherford and davidson county. Oh goodness how He is already preparing me for what's to come by doing things now!!
Okay, whew let me just catch my breath, ok i don't have time for that right now. wow, wow.
Tonight me, Travis, and Molly went to a youth group in Smyrna called Springhouse Church. Boy was I blown away by the Spirit of the Lord. I've never in my life met a youth group outside of a 'jesus high confrence' that is soo on fire for the Lord and that is so in love with Jesus...haha they are more than just 'christians' they are followers and seekers of Jesus that desire MORE of JESUS!! oh my my! so encouraging and just wooooooow. This youth group is so passionate and spirit filled that it's just woooooah! ha ok so worship was so goooood. I got to pray with this girl whom I have never met, named Kayti and man she is one amazing and jesus lovin chick. It was so cool to pray over one another...so liberating and wow.
They never even spoke a 'message'. All they did was sing and leave the mic open for anyone to share how God's moving in their midst and boy was that amazing to shout praises to God together for what He's doing!! oh man my God is NOT dead yall!! He is ALIVE!! I dont think we really get that. He still heals people. He has healed a friend of mines moms cancer!! That's something no doctor can do...only the great physician jesus can!! only Jesus!! Oh my goodness, more Lord!
ok so after the amazing night of worship and testimonies the three of us got in contact with Kayti and Alysha. These two girls are so on fire for the Lord that its incredible! They have a faith that can move mountains and I look forward to getting to know my sisters more.
We all decided to go to sonic to get a slushy...well haha so we started talking about Jesus and how we weren't really sure about coming cause it might be 'too much'. haha whatever!! you can never have too much of Jesus. You can never have too much of the spirit and boy did we experience the power of the holy spirit tonight. So as we were laughing and talking about how cool it is that God ordained this to all take place in perfect timing, this dude named Justin comes up and was like dude are yall talkin bout prophecy and jesus and we were like heck yes!! so him and 3 other girls sit with us and we just laughed and thought it so cool how God was ordaining all of this divine appointmens right!! haha then we all began to surround one another and pray, prophecy and lavish love on one another!! oh my word. I've never experienced something more moving than praying with strangers...now friends and bro's and sista's, to a God that is so alive and powerful and soo good!!! Oh my word it was so good. We lost track of time...we litterally were standing there for atleast an hour and were praying over each other in the middle of sonic...a group of people who just met each other who had EVERYTHING IN COMMON (Acts 2) How awesome...its the CHURCH. this is church people!!! its NOT a building and structure set time or sermon length or amount of worship songs. haha church has no boundaries, no limits, no barriers or restraints. church is when two or more meet in HIS name!!! oh my goodness! Jesus you are Goood!!! Praise you LORD!! More fire on Murfreesboro, Smyrna and Nashville! Jesus you reign!! Oh Lord thank you for divine appointments and how funny and good you are. Than you for confirmation and joy and love and laughter and brothers and sisters. Oh thank you!!
Man, I had to get that out...so I don't know what any of yall think of that, but man I just experience more of Jesus and His spirit tonight and there's no turning back. He's taking me deeper with Him and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
more of jesus, less of me.
LB
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Nsoko, Swaziland
Hey everyone!! I just thought I would give you guys a quick update.
I have officially raised $3506.25 through support letters and the money is still coming. All praise to God!! I have $1093.75 left to go and still have until the beginning of June to raise all the funds. I'm so thankful that all of the logistics so far are going smoothly.
I have officially raised $3506.25 through support letters and the money is still coming. All praise to God!! I have $1093.75 left to go and still have until the beginning of June to raise all the funds. I'm so thankful that all of the logistics so far are going smoothly.
I've been able to get to know most of my teammates already. So far we there are 7 girls total. Jamie from Mississippi, Kayla from Alaska, Ray from Minnesota, Emily from Maryland, Riley from Colorado, Jess from Canada and me from Tennessee. I am sooo thrilled to get to know these girls more and experience what God has in store for each of us in Swaziland.
I officially know that we will be bunking in a place called Nsoko in Swaziland. It's more on the border in the South East of Swazi. I don't know everything that I will be doing there, its Africa so we will be playing it by ear. Oh and it’s about an 8 hour time difference. Yall pray for me because those who know me well know how I am with not much sleep. Haha
As the days are getting closer I cannot help but get even more excited and anxious for the adventures ahead in Nsoko. I'm pumped to set foot on African soil. I am so excited to hug the necks of the beautiful Swazis and hold them in my arms.
But right now...I so so so so so desire to BLEED JESUS!!! I don't want to be a 'normal Christian' like everyone else. Jesus has not come and died for me to be normal, complacent, or easily satisfied. He came for me to have LIFE to the FULL! I desire to follow hard after Jesus. Following Jesus is not easy, always fun, prancing through a field, or saving everyone. Following Jesus is a life of love, humility and sacrifice.
But right now...I so so so so so desire to BLEED JESUS!!! I don't want to be a 'normal Christian' like everyone else. Jesus has not come and died for me to be normal, complacent, or easily satisfied. He came for me to have LIFE to the FULL! I desire to follow hard after Jesus. Following Jesus is not easy, always fun, prancing through a field, or saving everyone. Following Jesus is a life of love, humility and sacrifice.
If you're like me, that is a vulnerable and scary place to be and my whole life I’ve chose the easy way of just going to church every week, singing songs, doing service projects, and saying the right things. None of these are bad...but I’m made for more than this. I'm made for more than sitting in a pew and throwing my money in an offering plate. I'm made to take the money to that specific person and ask how I can pray, I’m made for more than just sitting and praying for you in my prayer closet-shoot I will come find you and pray over you right then and there. Why do I speak so well of Jesus but many times my lifestyle doesn't match this loving, radical Jesus I speak of? My actions don’t line up with the Red Letters Jesus breathed out. I've been taught well, therefore, my speaking has been well. Jesus is more than sermons and eloquent speaking, He is a lifestyle and desires you to believe and experience for yourself. Come and see. Does anyone thirst? Let Him come to me and drink. -Jesus.
You see I'm tired of the normal Christianity that fits into some structured pattern where everyone is supposed to look the same, act the same, and even serve the same. My Jesus is unique in the way he created you and me therefore; we will not look act or serve the same. My Jesus was far from a structured pattern. Haha.
I am so done with normalcy and this same ole same ole, going through the motions...I am tired of guilt and condemnation because there is now therefore NO condemnation for those who are in Christ. I want to live a life of celebration of what Jesus has done and who He is and what His spirit is doing across the universe!! I want to live a life that bleeds Jesus and truly walks out the red letters he spoke. I seek humility and to be unleashed for all Jesus has for me. So....I let go of the several labels that have defined me. I let go of normalcy and complacency. I let go of the 'average Christian.' I am not that...I am simply a daughter of a King that desires to follow Him in humility.
Alright, so that was my little tangent for the week. Haha
Anyway, Please continue to pray for me as I am continuing to prepare my heart for what I will see, hear, smell, taste, and experience while in Swaziland. Ofcourse, I have several mixed emotions. Pray that I would bring all my emotions-whether good or bad-before the throne of Grace. Pray I will lay them on Jesus and allow Him to speak to me through them.
Laura Beth Harbin
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