NEW BLOG

Hey everyone,

The organization that I am going on the 9 month trip with has created me a blog to post on. Therefore, I will be updating on this new blog from now on.

www.lbharbin.myadventures.org

Thanks to all!

Love,
Laura Beth Harbin

Call me crazy

As many of you know I went to Swazi for a month this past summer, came back and am in college in Chattanooga. I couldn't ask for anything better...I love it here: great friends, great job as after school counselor at YMCA, volunteering at Tennessee Baptist Children's Home, school is good, fam is great, etc. Then one day Jesus asked me if I would lay it all down for Him; to lose everything in order to gain Him. He asked me if I would trust Him and give Him all of my heart. SO here I am jumping in and just trusting Jesus with the rest.

This season of life over the past 3 months has been incredible. God has been teaching me dependency on Him and ultimately been taking me so much deeper in an intimate love realtinship with him. its so beautiful and i wish i could articulate it to you, ahhhh God is such a good loving daddy!!!!!

I have the priveledge of going on a 9 Month mission trip with AIM(adventures in missions). I will leave in September of 2013 and return May of 2014. I will spend 3 months in a country in Central America, 3 in Africa, and 3 in S.E Asia. In order to do this I need to raise $12,000. I need your help to continue in the path Jesus has for me. He will provide and always has. I pray you consider being apart of that providence-whether that's actually giving, praying, or pointing me in the direction towards unique ways to raise $$$$.

Because it is so expensive, I will be transferring to MTSU for this upcoming Spring semester and attend a summer semester as well in order to save money and get ahead in school.

Please pray alongside me as this is a huge leap of faith. Moreover, please pray for my mom and dad as it's a huge transition for them as well. Pray for comfort and peace over there hearts as they watch there firstborn travel a road of uncertainty and faith. Pray for this journey we are all on together.

Thanks,

Laura Beth Harbin

615-556-1156
lbharbin11@gmail.com
www.lbharbin.blogspot.com



353 Castlemere Court
Murfreesboro, TN 37130

Post Africa...college.

Well it's been awhile since I have blogged. Life has been absolutely crazy. I haven't had a time to just stop and be still. Those who know me know that I need time to just rest and be refreshed or I shut down and am out of control emotionally.
Its been a roller coaster since being home from the people I call my best friends and the place and people group i have deep in my heart.
There are days that I'm on the mountain top. Yet i have spent several days sitting at Rock bottom.
I've felt such a loneliness that hurts my heart. I feel so alone. I'm away from the people who know me best. I'm away from a place I love most.
Life has not slowed down since Africa. In fact it's just gone faster.
I'm overwhelmed and emotionally out of control. I'm in the desert season...my soul thirsts for God in a land where there is no water!!! I'm desperate, thirsty, and hungry.
To be honest I've been running away...I have been avoiding the now by constantly living in the past of Africa or looking forward to different trips I'd like to take or heck how I can get out of college earlier. I'm not living in the here and now.
I learned the other night that God hasn't stopped writing my story just cause I'm not in Africa anymore. He's been writing more, but I have been unwilling to turn the page. I'm in denial about turning the page. I'm stuck. I have been miserable the past month because I'm not living in the here and now. I'm not stepping out and I'm running away from what God has for me now. I think what could be better than Africa and my experiences there...but I know god has more in store, better things and new things to show and teach me. He wants to love me. Im not a burden to him. He wants to show me more of him. He wants me to surrender and let go. To just abide and rest. Submit.
Pray I quit wrestling and just submit.

Please pray alongside me. More of jesus less of me.
Jesus is enough.

I am beyond thankful for the phone calls, texts, emails and letters that I have received from people to simply invest in me, encourage me, check up on me and love on me where I'm at in this rough season of life.

Thanks for hearing me out.

Video!

Hey friends!!
Things are still going pretty smoothly with being home. I've had the opprotunity to meet with several friends and each time God shows me something more through talking about Swazi. Also, I began reading a book called "Scared" by Tom Davis. If you'd like a taste of the realities of Swaziland then this is the perfect book. It's not a fun fluffy read by any means...in fact the realities they live through sucks. There's no way around it.
Currently i've just been praying asking God what the next step is...the next journey. He's been brewing new things in me and I'm excited to see them unfold...until then I'm just waiting with Hope and treckin on in to college.
Speaking of college I've now been gathering things for my dorm. I can't believe how fast life is moving! I move in to UTC in just 2 short weeks! This is crazy!

Anywho...

I made a simple video of Swazi. Here's the link.
http://youtu.be/gSvK9k1JSmo


Thanks for the continual prayers!! Please don't stop praying for Swaziland!
Love,
Laura Beth Harbin

Being Home. Jesus is Enough.

Being home surprisingly has not been as bad as I had expected, thank you Jesus. Sure, I miss Swaziland like crazy and I miss my team(best friends) a whole lot too, but Jesus has given me such a peace. It's so weird haha, i don't know how to describe it...but He's given me such peace about being home right now and that the kids and people we ministered to throughout manzini in the carepoint and hospitals are okay. ha They're in great hands and God will never leave them or ever forget about them. I have peace.

Simply being home for 4 days God has already taught me so much. I've had so so so much time to process about Africa and I've only hit the top of the ice and boy its been so good. Daddy has been teaching me much about my time in Africa and why I was even there.
While I was there He disciplined me and grew my faith. He showed me that I am no different than the orphaned child. Just as Jesus never forgets or abandons them, so He never forgets or abandons me. That truth is for you and me too!! Jesus delights in me!
I learned that I don't let God love me. He wants to love me big, but i only let him in a little and then close him off. He wants all of me! He wants to show me new things and take me deeper in His love. He is such a loving Daddy that loves to cradle me in His arms and stare into my eyes.
I want to run to him with my arms raised high yelling "take me, Daddy, take me," just like the Swazi's did when they saw us "take me."
He's simplifying my faith....a childlike faith.
Man, God just showed me that He is enough. God didn't take me to Africa so that I could come back home with a cool story about a miracle or how people got healed and the country was revived and people believed in jesus....
Those things are great and its cool that people come back with that. However, God restrained that from me on this trip. My heart is not ready for that yet...my heart is still selfish and prideful. Jesus alone is enough! I don't need a cool story, though sometimes i still wish i had one to share with you. But Jesus is enough. I went to Africa and God showed me Jesus...and He is enough. God took me to Africa to humble me and love on me.
He showed me that it's not about me at all. It's only about Him.While i was sick and home from ministry me and God re-evaluated my passion for missions...am I in it for the glory and cool stories or am I in it solely to love on the people in front of me as a way of making jesus famous? Am I in it just to put that on my list of things i've done and mark off another country i've been to? Or am i truly passionate about this because Jesus is too and my heart breaks for what breaks His?
That was scary to re-evaluate while being in Africa. My heart had good intentions yet was in a bad place. Pride seeped in and flooded my heart...Then I allowed Jesus in and He cast it out.
It's so important to daily check your heart and ask God to renew your mind...
I learned to pray ephesians 6 every day...to put on the armor of God daily. I didn't realize how important that is until Africa where it's essential to do so daily.
Jesus is revealing so much to me right now and it's so humbling and I am beyond thankful for where He has brought me and what He has taught me while in Africa and even being home right now. His presence is so good.
Jesus is enough! Jesus is enough!! Jesus is enough!!!!!!! You don't have to have a cool story or feel anything, speak in tongues, heal people, prophecy, see visions, dream dreams...Jesus is enough!! Those things are gifts, they're not Jesus. If you have those gifts, thats super awesome, and if you don't thats just as awesome. JESUS IS ENOUGH!!!
open up your heart and let Jesus love you!! Let Him cradle you in His arms and stare into your eyes. You are His beloved in whom He is delighted in!!

Thanks for listening.
Laura Beth Harbin

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” - Mandela

Pics and videos update

Hey all!
I haven't done much at all besides lie in bed, journal, listen to music, and upload pictures and videos. Last night was the first time i got out. I went to the refuges community group and it went so well. I'm glad I went. It was good to be around a community of believers.
Anyway I still don't have words to describe my trip yet...I'm currently still processing it all and reading over my journal and all that jazz. Please keep myself and my team in your prayers as we continue to transition back into life that isnt normal anymore.

In the mean time feel free to check out some of my pictures and videos on my YouTube account as well as Facebook. Just search Laura Beth Harbin on facebook adn my pics should be public.

Love,
Laura Beth

http://m.youtube.com/#/user/lbharbin11

Back home

Hey all! I am back home and well it's bitter sweet. I'm excited to be home yet at the same time i so desire to be back in Swazi with my new friends!
We flew into Atlanta yesterday at 7am and stayed at hotel there last night. We got to debrief and worship which was so good and needed. Please pray for myself and my team as many of us are sick from traveling or just sick in general. Also pray as we transition back to American life and begin processing a whole months journey and experiences.
Whew!! I'm quite overwhelmed and feel terrible. I cry randomly and miss my friends and the people of Swazi so bad!
I don't have much to say-
I do want to say a huge thanks to all my supporters andthose who have been praying. You have no idea how thankful I am. Keep te prayers coming.
Love you all. Will update when I'm sane.

Laura Beth

Rough week, but so good.

Hey everyone.
So this week as definitley been a tougher week for our team. several of us have been sick and on the toilet because of it....no fun.
also, it seems like we had been sitting in darkness and we couldn't get out of a lil pit of funk. but what is so cool about our group is that we are aware of it and pray at that moment.we have been praying ephesians 6 everyday over each other. Yesterday was so much lighter that the rest of the days and we are all well rested now and back on our feet in full health. praise jesus.
God's been breaking down several of our walls we have built up and is continuing to teach us so so much. most of all he has been teaching us love. his love never fails. his love never grows weary or gets tired. he delights in us running to his arms and he calls us by name. he doesn't ever abandon me. he breaking down my pride and my selfish desires.
yesterday i saw jesus staring back at me through the eyes of a 7 month old baby boy. i got to hold him and feed him. his name is Kleo. Wow...amazing!!!
I just can't get over how much God has been stretching and growing us all. I love this team. At night time we always have a big snuggle session and its our favorite haha.




i've loved working at the carepoint we the preschoolers. they are so so smart for there age. they know there abc's and can count to 100...all in english!!! so awesome.
they are always smilng, and if they arent smilng they will as soon as you pick them up and wipe away there tears.
i love these kids and there laughter and joy...its contagious.

please continue to pray for wholeness, for light and life. Pray against darnkess death and lies. pray habakkuk 1:5 over us that god would show us things that are so bizzare that we wouldn't even believe it to be true. pray he take us deepere with him. that we would all experience and feel so much more of his love. love to permeate us.


i love this country and these people. i love my team so much. i don't want to come back home...so i haven't been focusing on that.
pray that each of us would live in the here and now. to live in the present and love in the present.
pray for more of the holy spirit. more of jesus and less of us.
JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS JESUS. only JESUS!!!

pray pray pray pray.
love,
Laura Beth Harbin

Hello From SWAZILAND

Sawubona!!! Hello!
I will try my best to write as much as i can but i don't have much time so bear with me and show me grace with spelling errors, etc.
I have a story to start off with real fast. So...my group was supposed to come to the cafe to blog and email friends on saturday. however, it wouldn't work so we decided that on our way walking to the hospital that we would stop by the other cafe. Let me tell you that we pretty much walk everywhere. haha. SO....the walk to the hospital took about 1 and a half hours!!! yes, one and a half hours. It wasn't bad but what made it stink was that when we were going to the cafe it ended up being closed!!! so that definitley put a damper on things that we walked almost 2 hours and got no internet. haha
but it was good. we got to spend time together instead and pray and ready our hearts before going into the childrens hospital. I've never seen anything like it...I honestly have no words to describe it. There was so so so much pain and hopelesness. However there was this one little girl that was maybe 2 years old suffering of malnourishment and she just luaghed and smiled so so so much. That's what got me through....the joy and hope in her eyes.
after that we hitchiked so that we didnt have to walk back for 2 hours in the dark. it was so much fun.
sunday we went to church and it was so so so so much fun!!! i absolutely love there beautiful voices.
today we went to a few carepoints to get a feel of what we'll be doing for the next 3 weeks.
i fell in love with one little boy today called NANA. he is not even 1 yet and ahhh he is beautful. i also have already been peed on :) nothing like some african baby pee on ya.

oh yeah....we are living in Manzini right now...to be honest we are incredibly blessed and have it pretty easy. we are sleeping on mattresses on the floor. our team loves to snuggle and talk about poop. hahah. oh my word. im so thankful fo my team.
we are so diverse and its so cool to be goofy at one point and then another time gather around each other and pray intentionally and see how god has been working miracles and speaking to each of us. its so bizzare.
okay im about to have to go.
i ask for more prayer....i feel like theres this layer over my heart thats holding me back and im not sure what it is. pray that its broken off. pray for deliverance and freedom.
pray for my team of 15 and our 3 leaders. pray for the poeple of swazi!!!
THNKS
Anyway so we have been in swaziland since wednesday and boy its such an interesting country. It's one of the most beautiful places i've ever been too. The mountains are outrageous.
habakkuk 1:5

Laura Beth Harbin

At airport!!!

Hey everyone!
There's so much to tell and so hard to articulate it all!! Right now the team and I are at the airport in Atlanta. Out flight leaves at 730pm.
Training camp has truly been a blessing. It has been amazing to connect with my team. HHS by the grace of god we can goof off and talk about poop then be completely vulnerable and honest about our walks with god and how we feel about Africa. Wow it's been so good! Worship has been off the wall! It's so real and raw-ha like it should be. We have learned to listen to God and it's been so cool to hear what he has to say to us.
He is breaking down walls an loving on us so much already! I'm so thankful and blessed!
Ah so mch to say and hard t write it all out.
Praise god for just sitting under the stars and singing worship song because we can and for laying hands on one another because we want to! Jesus is doing so much!!!
Keep praying!!!!!
Love y'all

Friday is the big day

Well, just two days away and I'll continue further in this journey to Africa!!!!!
God already knew from the moment he breathed life in me that I would go to Swaziland. The team and I are going on purpose- ad that's JESUS! I'm my going to change Swaziland I'm going to love. I simply desire to sit in the dirt with children to hold them and whisper in there ear that they're loved!!!!

I am so honored and humbled that God picked me, Laura Beth Harbin from Murfreesboro Tennessee to go to Swaziland for 4 weeks to simply learn about the love of jesus from the orphaned,widowed, and diseased.
Words don't express my excitement and anxiousness!

I pray to be emptied only to be filled with Jesus!
More of Jesus, less of me.

I'm thankful for all who have kept up with me, encouraged me, supported me financially, and most of all for the prayers! It's finally here and happening!!!!

If I don't get to update this a whole lot-no worries we have a team blog that our team leaders will post on saying we made it safely and other details like that-so feel free to keep your eye out for that! :)
I love y'all and thanks so much! Please pray pray pray!

More of Jesus, less of me.
Laura Beth Harbin

Here's the link to Swazi team blog.
http://swaziland-hs.adventures.org/

ONLY JESUS

Can you believe it??? I leave in just 12 days!! It seems so bizzare.
I know that I have probably told you this a million times, but just to reitterate, this blog is meant to be raw and honest. I never want to sugar coat whats going on. Its totally okay to feel any way whether its immense anger, deep sorrow, outrageous joy, are anything in between.
Today I felt a mixture of all of these, even the in betweens. To be honest I'm still wrestiling with it which is why I'm blogging. It's my way of taking the things within and getting them out.

Some know about my trip to Haiti last year and others don't....
To give a brief overview....I have always had a desire for 3rd world missions. There have been certain instances in my life where that desire was made clearer. however, when i went to Haiti last year it became more than clear that this was my desire, but that its my life and my very being. I remember always praying "Lord break my heart for what breaks yours." He's always faithful....He is breaking my heart for what breaks His....
My heart is BREAKING!!!!

I expereinced several emotions since being home from Haiti and preparing for Africa. In fact as I prepare for Africa I am brought back to the things God taught me through the eyes of the Haitians.
One of those Haitians that God taught me through was a little boy named Jivens. Those who know me most have heard me talk about him and if they havent heard me talk to them well then i was obviously jacked up on coffee or down right tired.
Anyway, so here we are one year later and the youth group went back to the same village in Haiti. Thats where Jivens is at this very moment...Guitton, Haiti.
It absolutely tore me to pieces knowing that I couldn't go to Haiti this year. I miss Jivens voice and the way he looked with his eyes. I miss his mannerisms and how he was always shy except when I was around. Just typing this makes me miss him so much.
Anyway, my friend who went to Haiti made a video of him and I can not help but replay it over and over and over and over again. I just want to keep hearing his voice. Each time i play it i wish i was back in haiti more than anything to hug his sweet neck.
But I'm here.

Through this year and through missing Jivens so much God has shown me that Murfreesboro and the people in front of me are just as in need as Jivens in Haiti. The people I drive past, walk past, and see out of the corner of my eye are each as valuable as Jivens.
The deep compassion I have for Jivens should be for each person I see. Compassion and Love should never be conditional. But rather, unconditional.
I want to love each person the same that i have immensely loved Jivens. To do so Jesus has to become greater in me. and for that I simply need be still before Him and rest in His love...

okay I'm about to go on a rant...speaking of resting in his love.
People have asked how i've prepared for africa and if im prepared. I believe there is no 6 step process to preparing for a 3rd world country...there's is NO way!!! No matter what each person's experience is going to be something that only them and God truly know because it is such a deep work in the heart that can not be explained.
So the way i answer is simple...Yes I'm as prepared as i can be. I believe in Jesus who lives in me. Because Jesus lives in me I simply rest in His love and allow Him to do His thing. I have Jesus and he has me...what more do i need to do to prepare?? haha
It's only Jesus. It's only jesus. It's only JESUS!!!!!!

Another thing...Jesus has shown me that it's so easy to put the needs of people or countries above Him. It's easy for me to put Jivens above God. I don't want to do that. I want to Love Jesus more because when i love jesus more then i can love jivens and the people i will meet in swazi that much more!

A fear of mine is that I will place expectations from my experience in Haiti onto my trip to Swaziland. I do not want to do that at all. I want Haiti to be a past memory that has a place in my heart and has changed me but doesnt hinder me! I want to be completely present in Swaziland.

I simply pray for more of jesus and less of me. I can do nothing of my own. I can not stop fearing and stop being upset, i can not stop puttin jivens as an idol above God. I can't do it at all. It's christ in me!!! Christ IN me!! I need simply abide in Him. To cling to Jesus and rest in His love and grace as he becomes more and i become less. And as He begins to be above all else and be my reason for going and living and breathing. As i rest in His love, His love will cast out any fear and any ungodly motivation or action upon an emotion. ONLY JESUS!!!

I feel like I'm done writing for now and I have no idea what I have written until i read back over it later. All i know is that I have written was has come to mind and what the Lord is so graciously speaking to me.

"Oh daughter, I'm all you need. Let me be your everything. When you let go, you gain more because you gain me. Let go and allow me to become more in you so that you can love my people as I have loved you, touch my people as i have touched you. Just abide in me, cling to me, rest in me my beloved princess in whom i delight in. You are doing well just as you are. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. I am doing a work in you that is for the world to see so that they see me. Hold fast to me. Trust me. Only I can satisy and comfort and heal. So let me do that, you must drop your nets to come follow me. You can't take them with you. Leave the old and come to newness. Come to me my child. Let me love you and teach you. Stare into each person's eyes and see me-they hunger and thirst for life that only I can offer. You can offer that because of me in you. Trust me. Cling to me. Abide.
Let me love you more so that you can love me more to love my people as I have loved you."

This is what Jesus just spoke to me.

Love,
Laura Beth Harbin

Update on Some Details

19 More days!!!! I can't wait until the single digits!!!!

Anywho, I thought it best to give yall an update on the trip! I now know that I will be at training camp from june 22-25 in Gainsville, Gerorgia and fly out from atlanta on the 25th. I'm very glad to have a 3 day training camp so that my teammates and i can ease into Africa rather than just being thrown into an unkown country. haha

So i fly out the 25th at 7:30 pm and will arrive in johannesburg, south africa on june 26th around 630 pm. from there we will drive to swaziland which is about a 4 hour drive.

We will be staying in two different places. Manzini and Nsoko(they are about one hour apart). Both have beds, one has toilets and showers and the other has a bucket and pit toilets ha.

We will be doing a variety of relational ministry such as visiting families, loving on children, serving at care points, etc.
 I am so so thrilled for the opprotunity ahead that I get to partake in for a month.

Please continue to pray fo myself and my teammates as we prepare and are experiencing several emotions leading up to Swaziland!!.

Here are there names so that you can specifically pray for each of them.
Jamie, Ally, Emily, Samantha, Jess, Katherine, Kayla, Riley, Courtney, Ami, Millie, and Anna. Also there are three other people(2 girls and 1 boy) that are on the team that we don't know yet. Pray for them as well. 
Also, these are out team leaders names. Pray also for them as they lead us: Katie, Ryan, and Krista.


 Thanks so much for all of the prayers and encouragement!! God is teaching me so much recently and is renewing, refining, and showing me more and more grace every day.
I've enjoyed conversations with people about preparing, both with my teammates, family, and best friend. It's been cool to see them give insight from the outside looking in and I've gotten so much out of it! 
Keep the prayers comin'

Love,
LB

Jesus kept me awake at 3am to love me.

Hey so it's about 230 am here and I haven't been able to sleep. Actually the past month I have been waking up during the night. I can't help but think that it's because jesus wants to speak to me. Tonight he has been tellin me that his love is like floating in an ocean. Its so big and I can be immersed in it.its so strong yet so gentle. His love is big for me and it has never failed. It never will fail. It never ends.

Its deeper than anyone even knows. Once i step into his love its uncomfortable because its new and different. I think i should step out but its not the same anymore so i step back in. As i get more comfortable there with my toes wet then i can go deeper to my ankles and so on and si forth. His love is deeper still. Once i think ive had it all he takes me deeper into his love.

His love isn't dependent on what I do or don't do or who I am or who Susie jane is. His love is big just for me. I can obtain this love. I can take that and own it and have it and overflow in it. I desire that. I hunger and thirst for that. Oh his love is just washing over me so deeply. Its washing away the dirt from the hard journey. It washes away all my fears. It renews me and refreshes me. His love is abundant and nothing less. His love is enough always. When I'm broken sad angry happy-his love is enough. The diseased orphans widows hungry homeless raped broken -his love is still enough and deep enough to cover them. His love covers me.
I want to jump into that love-ha do a cannon ball in it and as I'm in the water bout to come up know that his love will never go away and even when I'm numb to it that it's still all around me to drink in and soak in!!
His love will never ever dry up. He rejoices in me-delights in me, loves me.
Grace is all around me. I'm a daughter of a king. What's his is mine. Jesus is mine. I press into him. More jesus and less of me.

Laura Beth Harbin

Prunin' pride

I am daily being renewed because His mercies are new everyday. I'm so thankful for the road He has allowed me to travel thus far and I'm excited to continue traveling it. Im thankful that God allows me to wrestle with things on my heart-To be honest He's showing me how prideful and judgmental I am, how most of the time I am quite the opposite of Philippians 2 which says to be humble and consider others first. Sure it's easy to do that in africa or Haiti but what about in daily life and in my family? It rarely is so...why?
I pray God would continue to refine me and make me lower so that He is made higher and greater!
I want to be like a servant in all aspects of life not just on mission trips...
Jesus rid me of myself!! In john15 he says I'm already clean yet he still prunes me-oh I pray to be so pruned and cut back so that I can grow more and be fruitful. Let my pride be pruned!!
I desire to be less. i desire more of jesus. I pray to be emptied yet overflowing with the flaming love of Jesus.
I get to go to Swaziland not to necessarily teach or change the world but to love and to learn from them!

So as God continues to prune me and prepare me pray that I be willing, patient and still.

Laura Beth harbin

Being Stretched

This month has absolutely flown by!! I can't believe that I just graduated last Saturday! It seems like everything just happened in a blink of an eye. Last week was full of cleaning the house and getting ready for graduation celebrations, grad party hoppin, hugging tons of people...even strangers i've never met, smiling for long periods of time, staying awake longer than usual, and crying many tears. The Sunday after graduation I left for the beach with one of my best friends, Kelsey, I had an absolute blast with her and her family. It was a time to sort of wind down a bit from all the graduation madness..ha it was good madness though.
I'm so ready to be home though for a bit as I prepare more for Africa. Did you know that I leave for training camp in less than 30 days?!?!?! 28 more days! This blows my mind! It seems so surreal!

Anyway, I will go ahead and warn you that this will probably be quite a long post. There are a few things that I want to point out as well as update you on my life and where I'm at in preparing for Swaziland.

Graduation was a blast!! I can't believe I am done with high school...but oh it's a great feeling! However, it means i'm that much closer to heading to africa which i can't describe how excited, nervous, anxious, and everything else i am about leaving for a month! Oh my!! Speaking of Swaziland...
While i was at the beach this past week I found out that one of my teammates was down there the same time as i was so we decided to meet up which was so so so awesome and exciting to finally meet someone in person that i will be spending a month with!! I've talked with several of them, but it's that much more exciting to see them in person!

At the beach i learned quite a bit whether it was in the hot tub with an old man who i found out is a pastor in mississippi, two old women in the pool who later hung in our hammocks with us..haha so fun! or even from my friends mom and family! I have learned even from the currents of the ocean and the book "The Alchemist". Each of these are vessels that God chose to speak to me through.

Each of these people, places, and things have taught me to live life now and not later or yesterday. All in all, God has been teaching me over this year to sieze each moment and live it to the fullest. I know i have said this countless times and God continues to bring me back to that truth to forget what lies behind and press forward to whats ahead...not to be in whats ahead but to press on in the present. does that make sence??

When i look back on this year i totally see how God's hand has absolutely been in it and how He has been teaching me through extremely difficult circumstances. 2011-2012 has been a very challenging year both in my life and in my faith...I feel like i have been stretched out so much. It's been good, but boy it has been harder than heck.
I was reading today in psalm 71:20 and it seemed fit for this year. It says: You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.This year i have stared heartache and trouble in the face...in Haiti, with Noelle and Todd's death, the reality of Swaziland and more than half the world...
If i could give you a visual...it's as if i have been crawling up a mountain during a thunderstorm. On the way up the mountain i have began to get up, yet as soon as i get up i've been kicked back down. It's happened over and over again this year and I'm bruised up and hurt. I've missed out on this year because I have been stuck in the past of everything that has happened. I've been paralyzed by so much pain whether it's been death or the shocking reality of places like Haiti and Swaziland. This things affect me so much. I believe that they will work out for good.. I know because Jesus has promised that. I believe that he is reviving me again and is bringing me back up. I believe that he is washing my feet like in John 12 where jesus tells peter that he's already clean and all he needs to wash are his feet. To me, i get this picture of peter's feet...or my feet being dirty and bruised from walking into new places that my feet aren't used to. Jesus is beckoning me to sit down and let Him bandage my wounds and wash my feet. I'm already clean because of Him but He's continuing to teach me and grow me and ultimately take me deeper with Him...it's time to stop resisting and let Jesus wash my feet. He so loves me and desires for me to allow Him to bandage my wounds and use them for His good and His glory. I know He is using all of this for something great! I believe that He is so good and so loves me and I will continue to forget whats behind and press on in the present...I will seek His face.Remember not the former things,nor consider the things of old. Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.  Isaiah 43:18-19

He is doing a new thing at this very moment. His mercies are new every morning. I'm so so so thankful for the grace love and comfort that He has shown me throughout this year through all the difficulties and things that i have encountered and seen.
Thank you all to those who have sent me your love through prayers, support, love, hugs, etc. It is extremely appreciated!!!

Please, please continue to pray with me as time continues to tick away and Swaziland is just around the corner!!!!
Thanks for listening to me!

Laura Beth Harbin

P.S
I forgot to mention that all the money has been raised!! Praise God!!!! :)

No Control.

I want to continue being honest here on my blog. There's no reason for me to be fake and pretend that everything is all good when in reality it is not right now. I don't exactly know how to put it into words besides I'm at a loss of control and I almost feel like a train that has been broken and wont stop. You know what i mean...kind of like in spiderman where the train was broken and it wouldn't stop going and it was out of control so spiderman had to stop it??
Okay...so that is what I feel like...an out of control train that won't stop.
Sure, it seems like a good thing not to be in control and I know that it's exactly where God wants me to be. However, that doesn't mean i have to like it ha. It stinks...
Everything seems to just be spinning out of control around me and its so overwhelming. It's all happening at once and so fast. I have 4 school days left of high school, an ap exam to take, more fundraising for africa, college orientation, off to africa in just 49 more days and then to college right after!!!

On top of all of that I'm still dealing with death and preparing to say good bye to some of my friends that maybe i wont be as close to ever again. It's such a scary thing. I wish i spent more time with people my age throughout high school. I was always friends with those older than me and I love them to death...but they've already moved onto new chapters too. So i simply wish i balanced my time and relationships a whole lot better.

See, that's my problem. I'm not living in RIGHT NOW. I'm living in the past years of high school and the future of africa and college. I have missed so much that's going on right now.  However, i cant change a thing so i wont dwell on it because dwelling on regrets only puts me in a pity pit and that's not necessairly healthy either. I simply proclaim that yesterday is history and tomorrow is a new day. I proclaim that i am exactly where i am supposed to be and have traveled the road i am suppoosed to travel up to this point thus far. I believe that God will continue to guide and teach me throughout this journey called Life.I so need to just rest in the presence of Jesus and allow Him to revive me and love me through the hard and out of control times that I'm currently experiencing. I desperately need to slow down and allow Him to hold me and calm me. The best place for me to be right now is on my knees kneeling before the throne of Grace.

 For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 2 chronicles 20:12I feel powerless over all the circumstances and changes all around and I don't know exactly how to handle it or what to do with. All i can do is simply gaze into the eyes of Jesus and live in this very moment.

Please pray with me as life is changing so fast. I know it's all for good. I praise God for this valley because I know that it is refining my faith and making me more like Him. I praise God for allowing me to experience death at a young age as it puts things into perspective and allows me to grow that much more. I praise God that He is in control and not me. I trust Him. I look to Him.

Thanks for listening.

Life is moving extra Fast

Life is moving extremely fast right now only 18 days until I graduate and I think it's 52 day's until AFRICA!! Isn't that crazy.
Okay, now i'm going to express some of my hurts and pains with you. This isn't for you to be like "aww poor Laura Beth"...i just really need to express this for my own good.
If you don't know....this school year has been bitter sweet. I've experienced two friends deaths in the past 6 months. That's not something an 18 year old should go through there senior year. These two friends of mine didn't even get to graduate or experience the excitements and events of senior year.
My friend Noelle died in a car accident on October 27, 2011. And Todd died by drowning at a lake just this past Sunday, April 29, 2012.
Noelle I knew from middle and high school and Todd I grew up in church with and played frisbee with every sunday.
I don't know how to express how terrible it feels to look at someone you know lying in a casket lifeless. There's no way to wrap my head around it or how to express it.

More than that...I'm going to a country where death is daily and to no surprise due to AIDS. What's God trying to tell me is all I'm wondering...maybe im thinking too hard? Who knows..two of my friends died so what do i do now? I'm at a loss for words.
My heart hurts and cringes as my mind continues to replay the two different scenes of both Noelle and Todd's deaths...the first phone calls, where i was, what i was doing, how i reacted and the days to follow.

The Lord is near to the broken hearted. My hope is in the Lord as difficult as it is...
I can't help but to curl up in a ball and just weep before God both in anger, confusion, and sorrow. I know with all my heart that He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called accroding to His purpose.
JESUS I CRY OUT TO YOU!!! I cry out in my joy and in my pain...Oh how i need Him every hour!! I need Him as i move on to new chapters in life both with graduating high school, going to Swaziland and then to college and wherever else I'm taken to.

I pray for more of Jesus and less of me.
I'm clinging to Jesus with all I am...

Love yall
Laura Beth Harbin

2 Months Left

It's been a while since I have blogged and let me just say that it has been extremely busy and a bit stressful the past month. Although, it has been exciting as well! My time has been consumed with babysitting, officiating soccer, school(to which i have senioritis very badly...), ironing out all this college stuff, getting things done for Africa, and the exciting part...talking to my teammates for Swazi!!
I think I talk to these girls more than I do my own friends, but boy is it just so exciting to get to know each of them and share our doubts, hopes, fears and excitements as we prepare to live in Swaziland for a month.
Thank the Lord all the chaos is almost over haha. It's good chaos, it's just a whole lot at one time. I'll give you a little snapshot of the past month and all the decisions I have had to make.
I have decided to attend the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga. Took a day off from school just to register for housing. I have been getting to know my roommates-that's been pretty cool. I turned 18. I decided to get a tattoo. It's on my wrist and says "Abide in Me" in greek from John 15:4. I'm about to send out graduation invitations. Prom is this weekend. As well as a whole bunch of things in between....and......as of Yesterday only two months until I head out to Swaziland, Africa!!!

My life has been busy nonetheless. It's so difficult to find those quiet moments with Jesus amidst the chaos and business. Yet, Jesus continually beckons me to come and rest in Him. And it's in those times that I am the most satisfied...just lying in the arms of my Daddy, Best Friend, and Lover of my Soul. A friend in my speech class put it in perspective for me. She said that she was in awe that God took notice of her!! I forget that sometimes..that He specifically takes notice in me!! He knows me and so cares for me! He is for me! He never forsakes me-even when i doubt or am weak...He still hold my hand and says...come follow me, I'll take care of you!

Pray with me that even in the midst of the craziness of life right now that I would abide in him..cling to Jesus, rest in Jesus.

Please continue to pray for myself and the rest of our team as we prepare for Swaziland. It's been an absolute joy getting to know each of them and I can not wait to meet them face to face and spend a month with them loving on Swaziland.

Thanks,
LB

Hunger

I can't help but to post again today. Let me first say that man I love when I hear Jesus speaking to me and then He confirms it through someone else, a song, etc
Tonight at youth in Smyrna Jesus kept saying "Rest my daughter, Rest." Those who know me know that this is a difficult thing for me to actually rest. I'm not talking about sleep...I'm good at sleeping ;)
I'm talking about spiritual rest. The kind of rest that brings deep peace and stillness...trust in Jesus. Rest...to simply abide in Jesus as He works...abide in the vine allowing His spirit to flow through and through.

Tonight Jeus gave me a few sort of visions. One of them pertaining to rest and i just had a vision that I was lying in the grass on my back staring at the clouds next to a stream of water. The water was flowing so gently. Jesus came to be and said ' let me give you new and fresh water' so He guided me to kneel down and cup fresh water in my hand to drink and splash on my face. Then we walked hand in hand down the bank of the stream into the unknown...but still hand in hand. I was assured that Jesus is with me and for me! He so cares for me.

Another vision Jesus gave me was while I was singing my feet began to feel wind just blow constantly. It was very weird actually feeling wind on my feet and not knowing where it came from and not being anywhere near an air vent. Jesus gently whispered in my ear that He is fanning the flame on my feet...preparing me to GO!! to Go tonight, tomorrow, the next day, June 22 and forevermore. He is fanning the flame on my feet that He calls beautiful.
In 2 timothy 1:14 Paul says to guard the good depostit entrusted to you!!!! woah!! haha Jesus has trusted me with the desires that He has placed in my heart. He trusts me to go to siegel high school, swaziland, utc, wherever. He trusts me!! He believes in me and is fanning the flame on my feet to not only meet physical needs but to bring THE living water and bread of life to people and to proclaim fearlessly the love of Jesus!!! thats the good news, the love of Jesus!!

This lady began to speak to the youth and i swear it was straight up Jesus speaking through her and she was speaking about being hungry...hungry for more of Jesus. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled!! Thats a promise...they shall be filled. But you have to want it!! Oh there are so many hungry souls!!
She began talking about physical hunger and relating that to spiritual hunger. Immediently I thought of Jivens and my lil buddies in Haiti and the soon to be buddies in Swaziland...I thought of their literal hunger. I believe I am connecting some dots now...You see jesus has given me a deep compassion for the poor, diseased and hungry right....well that passion has just gotten deeper because so far at first i have only seen the physical need and its such a huge task and just looking at how to 'fix it' is  daunting...now I have seen the deeper and much worse issue that not only exists in third world countires but also in my very own city....hungry souls. I'm thankful God has shown me the hungriest of them all because now it is showing me the other and more deeper side of hunger and that is the hunger for something greater...we are a starved people. either that are we are fat on various things that will never ever satisfy. Jesus is beckoning me to bring life that He offers...to offer living water and the bread of life not only in Africa, but here too.

 I am not going to Africa to meet just physcial needs...I'm going to Africa in hopes, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to meet spiritual needs and spiritual starvation.

Continue to pray with me please as Jesus continues to prepare my heart and take me deeper!

More of Jesus, Less of me.

Love,
LB Harbin

Perfect Love Drives out ALL Fear

Last night I was talking with one of my swazi teammates and can i just first say that I absolutely LOVE talking with each of them and so look forward to finally uniting with them in person come June 22. I can't wait.

Anyway, so we were talking about fear. Fear in going to Swazi, etc. Isn't it crazy though haha what are we getting ourselves into and I can't believe I'm really doing this. But this journey is so exciting and with that comes much fear and anxiety. That's exactly what Satan wants too...he wants the fear to paralyze us. Instead of letting fear paralyze us I pray that it compels us and allow the perfect love of Jesus to drive it out. In 1 john it says that perfect love drives out all fear. Therefore, I have nothing to fear. God is love. His love is bigger and greater than all my fear. I pray that instead of giving Satan a foothold with our fears and anxieties that we would bring that before the throne of grace and allow the love of God to penetrate it and use it for His glory and to prepare us even more for what's ahead.
One man always says that Fear can be a good thing because in our fear we have two options...either let it control us andplace whatever it is we fear above God OR we can allow the Holy Spirit to rise above and move in that fear. I think those are the best places to be even though we don't like not being in control. But when the fear comes to just release it and allow Love to rise above, allow Holy Spirit to take the wheel from there ya know? I have no idea if that made sense, but it did in my head so if you don't get it, I'll try to explain again in bettter terms.

Well thats all for now. Time to head out to school.

Keep praying for myself and my 7 other teammates.

Love,
LB Harbin

I'm so thankful that Jesus never lets go of my hand even in my moments of fear, anxiety and uncertainty.

Update of Goodness

Praise the Lord!!!! I just wanted to give yall an update! It has been so humbling and encouraging to see how God has been providing the funds for Swaziland. I am only about $600 short!!! YAAAAAAY! Also, it has been so awesome how I have been connected with people who have either already been there before as well as getting to know my team mates better!! I love it!
I can not believe that it is only a few short months away. 3 more months!!! ahh! I already know that these next few months will fly by very quickly. Many events are upcoming and it is extremely exciting as well as overwhelming. I guess you can say it's a big ole spring. haha. I turn 18, go to prom, get out of school, and graduate!!! Then of course....go to Swaziland, Africa! OH SNAP!!!!
Please continue to pray for me as I'm sure it will be here before you know it.
Oh, and many have asked about what's next college wise...haha that is a great question and I am unsure of the answer to that. Currently I am looking into Bethany College of Missions in Minnesota, but like I said I have no earthly idea. If all else fails though...UTC is my back up plan.
Pray also as I continue to prepare for Swaziland...so many mixed emotions.

Thanks for listening to me and keeping up with my updates. Keep sending the encouragement and prayers my way!  :)

Love,
Laura Beth Harbin

What Keeps Me Awake at Night

Do you want to know what keeps me awake at night while everyone else is snoozing the night away? Injustice. That is what keeps me awake at night...it makes me toss and turn and wish I could sleep it away, but I can not. My heart won't let me sleep...my heart is way to heavy. Today Invisible Children came to school today and the reality of Haiti, Swaziland, Uganda, and many other places was once again impressed upon my heart. I don't think you really get it...it hits my heart like a ton of bricks to where it's hard to even breathe. I watched the Kony video and had to hold myself from throwing up when I first watched it the other night. I try so hard to not think about all of this as much and live a 'normal' senior year. But, I can not do that. I am not normal. I am not living the 'senior year' everyone expects. I try...but it's not who I am created to be. It ends up being awkward for me trying to be what people expect me to be, especially senior year with college, etc. There is so much more to life than meets the eye! There is a hurting world in your own city...yet we are so concerned with ourselves that we don't see it!! I want to graciously help you to see! You see ,it is so much easier to look away and pretend that other people are involved....but guess what, that's apathy...its worse to see something and do nothing than to be against it all together. Let that sink in...

I'm here to tell you that I won't just sit on my couch...I literally can't even if I wanted to because the impression upon my heart, eyes, and ears is too deep for me to sit.
I can't sleep knowing that Jivens in Haiti may not have had a meal today and definitley didn't have clean water. I can't sleep knowing that there are 27 million slaves worldwide today including child labor and sex trade. I can't sleeping knowing that more than half of the world is living in poverty while I complain about my meal not being warm enough or exact. I can't sleep knowing that the HIV/AIDS orpahned children in Nsoko, Swaziland, whom I have yet to meet, are living day to day with no one to nurture and love them. Nsoko suffers from drought, poverty, AND the highest HIV/AIDS prevelance in the WORLD!!! I can't sleep!
I can't sleep due to the things I saw and heard and felt in Haiti, but also due to what I will hear and see and feel in Swaziland.

How is it that thousands upon thousands of people worldwide are suffering daily from preventable diseases? haha, this seriously makes absoultely no sence to me and it makes me sick! I have money that I would rather spend on a new pair of chacos and you know what?? I have 4 pair of chacos. For the price of one pair of chacos I can send a child to school for a whole year!! I want to put this on me so that I don't place the blame on anyone else. Let me tell you though, we have all played a part in human suffering and I began to realize it back in July of 2011 and since then I haven't been able to sleep. I'm currently exploring many options of my next step before I leave for Swaziland and even when I return...

I guess that's why this blog is called 'Journey to the unknown' so please bear with me as I hash out my heart with you guys as it is very difficult to articulate and not pretty at all...but I mean, what my heart breaks for is not pretty at all. Don't let the happy go lucky mission trips fool you. They are by no means easy or prancing through daisies. Same with the gospel...don't let pastors fool you...It's not easy to swallow. Jesus asks you and I in red letters if we are willing to drop everything to follow Him. If you ask me that's not an easy thing to read. He asks me to let go of everything else and hold on to Him. He says I cant serve two masters...it's impossible. He didn't come to please the rich or healthy. He came for the lost, diseased, sick, and outcasts of society. Mattew 25 states that Jesus is the diseased, outcast and poor. Check it our for yourself...Jesus says that whatever we do for the least of these we do to Him directly.

Oh Lord, help me see each person as if looking in your eyes. Help me to see each human beings as made fearfully and wonderfully in Your very image. I am no different from the Haitian, Swazi, American politician, Mega church preacher, sex slave, child slave, prostitute, or even murderer. Jesus it's difficult to know that each human on the face of the Earth is created by you with joy in your eyes-both the ones i can't stand and those i love with passion. Each created by you. Father break through in my own city, my own country. Let this generation rise up from selfishness, injustice, and apathy. I pray for breakthrough Lord in Swaziland, Haiti, Central Africa, America, South America, Middle East, Europe, India, China, Asia, the Pacific, Latin America, Canada. Father-wipe accross this universe with your UNFAILING LOVE. It does not make sence, but it is eternal and life giving and life altering. I pray for people to stand up. More disciple Lord, more laborers for the harvest is plentiful!! More true Jesus followers after your heart. More of you Lord less of me, les of us. Be magnified and exalted. Take what me and the rest of the world have meant for evil and use it for good like you promised!!! I PROCLAIM THAT YOU, LORD, ARE BIGGER THAN POVERTY, DISEASES, ORPHANED/ABANDONED CHILDREN, DROUGHT, FAMINE, WAR, SEX TRADE, and CHILD SLAVES. YOU ARE BIGGER!!! I believe in you!! He that is in me is greater than he who is in the world. I believe and trust that i have power of Holy Spirit dwelling within me that can change this world. Because of You I can do as You did and even greater..only because of You. It is YOU. Thank you for the priveledge of carrying your task for justice and love and peace, nourishment, and JESUS to Haiti and Swaziland and even Murfreesboro, Tn. May you increase. More of you Jesus. Make your disciples toss and turn for your people. Thank you Jesus for your LOVE. Act now Father. Please come swiftly.
Amen, Amen.

Haha Blown Away. WOW

It is 1230 am here in the boro right now and for those who know me...yes it's a miracle I'm awake this late, but let me just say it's because I am so drunk on the spirit right now (Eph 5).

I have no idea what kind of response people will get when they read this, and frankly that's okay because my Jesus indeed is alive and on the move right here and now in rutherford and davidson county. Oh goodness how He is already preparing me for what's to come by doing things now!!

Okay, whew let me just catch my breath, ok i don't have time for that right now. wow, wow.
Tonight me, Travis, and Molly went to a youth group in Smyrna called Springhouse Church. Boy was I blown away by the Spirit of the Lord. I've never in my life met a youth group outside of a 'jesus high confrence' that is soo on fire for the Lord and that is so in love with Jesus...haha they are more than just 'christians' they are followers and seekers of Jesus that desire MORE of JESUS!! oh my my! so encouraging and just wooooooow. This youth group is so passionate and spirit filled that it's just woooooah! ha ok so worship was so goooood. I got to pray with this girl whom I have never met, named Kayti and man she is one amazing and jesus lovin chick. It was so cool to pray over one another...so liberating and wow.
They never even spoke a  'message'. All they did was sing and leave the mic open for anyone to share how God's moving in their midst and boy was that amazing to shout praises to God together for what He's doing!! oh man my God is NOT dead yall!! He is ALIVE!! I dont think we really get that. He still heals people. He has healed a friend of mines moms cancer!! That's something no doctor can do...only the great physician jesus can!! only Jesus!! Oh my goodness, more Lord!

ok so after the amazing night of worship and testimonies the three of us got in contact with Kayti and Alysha. These two girls are so on fire for the Lord that its incredible! They have a faith that can move mountains and I look forward to getting to know my sisters more.
We all decided to go to sonic to get a slushy...well haha so we started talking about Jesus and how we weren't really sure about coming cause it might be 'too much'. haha whatever!! you can never have too much of Jesus. You can never have too much of the spirit and boy did we experience the power of the holy spirit tonight. So as we were laughing and talking about how cool it is that God ordained this to all take place in perfect timing, this dude named Justin comes up and was like dude are yall talkin bout prophecy and jesus and we were like heck yes!! so him and 3 other girls sit with us and we just laughed and thought it so cool how God was ordaining all of this divine appointmens right!! haha then we all began to surround one another and pray, prophecy and lavish love on one another!! oh my word. I've never experienced something more moving than praying with strangers...now friends and bro's and sista's, to a God that is so alive and powerful and soo good!!! Oh my word it was so good. We lost track of time...we litterally were standing there for atleast an hour and were praying over each other in the middle of sonic...a group of people who just met each other who had EVERYTHING IN COMMON (Acts 2) How awesome...its the CHURCH. this is church people!!! its NOT a building and structure set time or sermon length or amount of worship songs. haha church has no boundaries, no limits, no barriers or restraints. church is when two or more meet in HIS name!!! oh my goodness! Jesus you are Goood!!! Praise you LORD!! More fire on Murfreesboro, Smyrna and Nashville! Jesus you reign!! Oh Lord thank you for divine appointments and how funny and good you are. Than you for confirmation and joy and love and laughter and brothers and sisters. Oh thank you!!

Man, I had to get that out...so I don't know what any of yall think of that, but man I just experience more of Jesus and His spirit tonight and there's no turning back. He's taking me deeper with Him and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

more of jesus, less of me.
LB

Nsoko, Swaziland

Hey everyone!! I just thought I would give you guys a quick update.
I have officially raised $3506.25 through support letters and the money is still coming. All praise to God!! I have $1093.75 left to go and still have until the beginning of June to raise all the funds. I'm so thankful that all of the logistics so far are going smoothly.

I've been able to get to know most of my teammates already. So far we there are 7 girls total. Jamie from Mississippi, Kayla from Alaska, Ray from Minnesota, Emily from Maryland, Riley from Colorado, Jess from Canada and me from Tennessee. I am sooo thrilled to get to know these girls more and experience what God has in store for each of us in Swaziland.

I officially know that we will be bunking in a place called Nsoko in Swaziland. It's more on the border in the South East of Swazi. I don't know everything that I will be doing there, its Africa so we will be playing it by ear. Oh and it’s about an 8 hour time difference. Yall pray for me because those who know me well know how I am with not much sleep. Haha

As the days are getting closer I cannot help but get even more excited and anxious for the adventures ahead in Nsoko. I'm pumped to set foot on African soil. I am so excited to hug the necks of the beautiful Swazis and hold them in my arms.
But right now...I so so so so so desire to BLEED JESUS!!! I don't want to be a 'normal Christian' like everyone else. Jesus has not come and died for me to be normal, complacent, or easily satisfied. He came for me to have LIFE to the FULL! I desire to follow hard after Jesus. Following Jesus is not easy, always fun, prancing through a field, or saving everyone. Following Jesus is a life of love, humility and sacrifice.

If you're like me, that is a vulnerable and scary place to be and my whole life I’ve chose the easy way of just going to church every week, singing songs, doing service projects, and saying the right things. None of these are bad...but I’m made for more than this. I'm made for more than sitting in a pew and throwing my money in an offering plate. I'm made to take the money to that specific person and ask how I can pray, I’m made for more than just sitting and praying for you in my prayer closet-shoot I will come find you and pray over you right then and there. Why do I speak so well of Jesus but many times my lifestyle doesn't match this loving, radical Jesus I speak of? My actions don’t line up with the Red Letters Jesus breathed out. I've been taught well, therefore, my speaking has been well. Jesus is more than sermons and eloquent speaking, He is a lifestyle and desires you to believe and experience for yourself. Come and see. Does anyone thirst? Let Him come to me and drink. -Jesus.

You see I'm tired of the normal Christianity that fits into some structured pattern where everyone is supposed to look the same, act the same, and even serve the same. My Jesus is unique in the way he created you and me therefore; we will not look act or serve the same. My Jesus was far from a structured pattern. Haha.

I am so done with normalcy and this same ole same ole, going through the motions...I am tired of guilt and condemnation because there is now therefore NO condemnation for those who are in Christ. I want to live a life of celebration of what Jesus has done and who He is and what His spirit is doing across the universe!! I want to live a life that bleeds Jesus and truly walks out the red letters he spoke. I seek humility and to be unleashed for all Jesus has for me. So....I let go of the several labels that have defined me. I let go of normalcy and complacency. I let go of the 'average Christian.' I am not that...I am simply a daughter of a King that desires to follow Him in humility.

Alright, so that was my little tangent for the week. Haha

Anyway, Please continue to pray for me as I am continuing to prepare my heart for what I will see, hear, smell, taste, and experience while in Swaziland. Ofcourse, I have several mixed emotions. Pray that I would bring all my emotions-whether good or bad-before the throne of Grace. Pray I will lay them on Jesus and allow Him to speak to me through them.

Laura Beth Harbin

Must Read

Oh my goodnes, let me first say that I had like a whole 3 paragraphs written and some how I deleted it and it magicly dissappeared. Oh man that makes me so mad. Ha.
Lets try this again....

Okay!! so...Jesus is so good! I really don't want to be that one blogger that blogs about every little thing, but I have a feeling that it may be me! Please, bear with me though because its all about Jesus, well most of it anyway. I promise this one is all about Jesus. ok ok, sorry, i get off track easy.
As i write more, keep in mind what I blogged last about and that I'm reading the book Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne.

I am currently on chapter 6 of this book and let me just quite what Mr. Claiborne says...
"I'm convinced that God did not mess up and make too many people and not enough stuff. Poverty was created Not by God, but by you and me because we have not learned to love our neighbors as ourselves. Gandhi put it well when he said "There is enough for everyones need, but not enough for everyones greed." -Shane Claiborne
Oh snap!!! So I read this and sent it to a few of my close friends that have a huge heart for the poor and are moved by it. I feel like Shane Claiborne puts it perfectly so I have no room to really comment besides...AMEN!!! Isn't that crazy!!

Yesterday at one club we discuss about LOVE. I even commented that before we can even love others we have to love ourselves. I unfortunately believe that many of us do not love ourselves, therefore we do not love our neighbors and the least of these. Heck I hated myself until I was about 16 years old. I'm finally beginning to love myself, then I went to Haiti and realized love for others and even in my own community and school. Yet daily, I continually fall short of loving my neighbors as myself. I constantly am after my own desires and am so easily satisfied. I am extremely selfish and prideful. I fall very short. oh and that's my prayer to fall so in love with Jesus...to know His love that much more deeper so that i would not be wishy washy on who I love and when I love. I want to love all, always!!! There's a verse in philippians 2 that talks about looking to others interests before our own...I do that MAYBE on a good day. How am I any different from the rest of society if I only love people I like and am greedy and selfish?? I look the same. I pray to be transformed! transformed by the renewing of my mind and not to conform to the pattern of this world that says it's all about me. It's not all about me or you! Sorry to bust your bubble. I'm busting yours because Jesus has officially busted mine. Dude!! is this not so ridiculous!! Jesus meant what He said. Love God first, then love your neighbor as yourself. SNAP!!
Ok so all these thoughts are running through my mind and I sent that text out. Then my buddy, Michael Miller texted back saying he had sent me an email and that it will blow my mind. I checked my email when I got home and dude, I was floored when i read it. He sent it before i even sent out that text which is even crazier. HA ha, I love how jesus does things.
Here's the link to what he sent me... http://rejectapathy.com/poverty/features/1455-life-lessons-from-swaziland

Now to save you time I'll summarize it for you...
first, know that it is about SWZILAND!!!....you know where i'm going this summer! haha also its a dude who lives there with the same organization i am going with!! ahhh even cooler. But even cooler than that is that it was about LOVE!!! This dude named Dennis Brock is talking about serving others before yourself and the poverty and AIDS pandemic in Swaziland. He talks about loving the least of these selflessly!! putting aside self for others, for advancing the kingdom of God!! oh my goodness gracious!! I FREAKED OUT!! and im still freaking out. haha oh man, Jesus, thank you for continually bursting my bubble to teach me more and to deny myself and daily take up my cross and follow you. I follow a homeless man(Jesus) and i serve homeless men(everyone around)!

Do you see why I just had to share this? Yup, thats what i thought, huh? These are lessons things I've heard my whole life but have never taken them literal. I've just been told, yeah go love you neighbor....NO yall...Jesus is serious when he says it GO AND LOVE!! it's not when ya want to and what not...its a commandment. The greatest commandment!! oh snap!

Father, continue to open my eyes to the things unseen. Continue to open my eyes to your love for me and for everyone despite our faults and misconceptions of You. Lord I pray for more of you and less of me. Rid me of my self and pride. Jesus, to overflow in your joy and love and grace. More jesus, more of you!! amen

Laura Beth Harbin

Lickin' Envelopes & Lovin' ALL

Good Morning!!! Currently I am sitting in my keyboarding class- this is simply an elective class that just takes up some time inmy scheduele. If my teacher is reading this, don't worry I love ya a lot and your class gives me time to read and ponder...and BLOG ;)


Ok-so this morning I licked a TON of envelopes to send out the rest of my Thank You cards to all those who have supported me financially thus far. Can I just say that I still have the horrendous after taste of nasty envelope-ness. HA, but really, it's really gross. But hey, it's for good reasons right?  Therefore, if you get a thank you note in the mail please know that my tongue suffered for you this morning.


On a more serious note- this morning at One Club Miles Ownby spoke about anger and love. God has definitley been gently whispering in my ear about loving all. It just got louder this morning through Miles. You see, it's so easy to love those that I enjoy to be around and love. It's so much harder to love those that are incredibly annoying and just blaah. Yet, by only loving those that I love then I'm simply being like a Pharissee. I strive to love all. I am reading a book currently called Irresistable Love by Shane Claiborne, which is rocking my world by the way and I highly reccomend it. Anyway so he has talked a whole lot about love...love is not easy. Heck it's brutal and hard, but so worth it. "Love is not sentimental but heart wrenching, the most difficult but most beautiful thing in the world."
I'm thankful that God is teaching me this now. Love has no bounds. Love never fails. Love doesn't pick and choose who to 'put up with'. Love is eternal and not temporary. Love is not discriminatory. God is love! There's a verse in John 13:35 that says they will know you by the way that you LOVE one another!! also, what's the two greatest commandments?? Love God and Love People. These words wouldn't be red letters if Jesus didn't mean it. He wasn't just wasting His breath. He's meant to be taken literally. I strive to know so much more deeply how high wide deep and long Jesus' love for me is. Because once I love myself and love God unconditionally, then I can love ALL people unconditionally.  I seek, hunger and thirst for this love!!
Will you pray with me to love all unconditionally?


Love,
Laura Beth Harbin

Roses Among Thorns

I wrote this on December 26, 2011 and figured I would post it here. It's another piece of my heart and piece of my journey to the unknown...

roses among thornes
beauty in the midst of pain
joy despite suffering
community within poverty
roses among thorns...
Aren't these paradoxes so intriguing?

 When i went to Haiti these paradoxes became real, it was a bitter sweet reality and awakening. I was awoken from my ignorance and the veil covering my eyes was uncovered.
I always knew I had a huge heart for the poor, widowed and orphans but i had no idea what that entailed. I had no idea that it could absolute desperation and poverty could actually be so real. Then i set foot to the poorest country in the western hemisphere and was utterly broken....
My boat was rocked to the extreme and the passion and compassion that God placed on my heart were now wide open and the floodgates burst.
There's no way to really explain how there can be so much beatuy despite so much pain-spiritualy, emotionally, and physically. In fact, Haiti is sooo beautiful. The mountains are gorgeous and the carribean sparkles in the sun light. And please don't forget those beautiful white smiles!!! Oh my goodness they made my heart smile.
The joy despite suffering....if you look around these people are THANKFUL for the simple things...genuinely thankful. Even though they may not get a meal today or tomorrow they continue to laugh, they continue to smile, they continue to work hard and think positively.
Community...everyone in the village looked after one another. A 6 year old would watch after and carry their 2 year old sibling. They made sure everyone was ok and loved on. They didnt take for granted each others life and the opprotunity to be apart of it.
Countries like Haiti and Swaziland are countries of Roses and Thorns...beauty and freedom despite pain and suffering.

With this in mind it makes me excited for what I will encounter in Swaziland, yet at the same time i fear it...I fear being immersed. I fear being uncomfortable. Oh, but i know that in the fear and discomfort that God is so much greater! He is my hope. He is the Haitians hope and He is the Swazi's hope!  Please continue to pray for me as I prepare each day to step foot on the Swazi soil.
I know that God is preparing me and has been preparing me since before i was even born. haha. That's so cool to me and so comforting. He rejoices and sings over me!! He rejoices and sings over the Swazi orphans who have nothing. He rejoices and sings over the Swazi's dying of AIDS. I know He is still moving and in control. Our God Reigns. He holds them in His loving arms!! They are NOT forgotten.

Laura Beth Harbin

I wont be quiet anymore

It's time to stop sitting still in our comfortable church buildings and comfortable neighborhoods. You see, there are 143 million orphans in the world, 385 million living on less than $1 and 27 million enslaved!!! These number are NOT ok with me at all! This does not settle well within me. If you showed me this last year I would be upset over it, but then I went to Haiti and experienced those numbers and now I am enragaged. These numbers have a name to it, a name that is of significance and value, just like you and I. They are no different than you and I. They each have a story and each are broken human beings in need of a savior...in need of Jesus, the lover of their soul, who rejoices over us with singing!! So....what do we do with that? I can tell you what Not to do... please don't sit in ignorance. This is real...it's happening everywhere...look in your own city, it's here too. It's not just in Haiti and Africa. It's in our own country, our own cities. I can't say what you should do...that's between you and God. I know what I'm doing...I am entrusting myself to Jesus and allowing Him to move through me in my own home, school, city, and then in Swaziland, Africa...To be a voice for the voiceless. Pray with me to fearlessly proclaim the mystery of God's grace for which i am an ambassador of!(eph 6:19)
These are just a few thoughts for this morning.

Also here is a song called "We are Hungry" by Jesus Culture.

http://youtu.be/b5mJzHGCPjo

Love,
Laura Beth Harbin

Beginning to Blog

Hey everyone!!
 So this is my first time to blog. I wanted some place to express my thoughts as I prepare for Africa. For those who don't know, I am heading to Swaziland, Africa this summer with an organization called Adventures In Missions. I will be there June 22- July 21.To be honest it sometimes is annoying for me to tell Everyone and their mom where i'm at in the preparing process, etc. Therefore, hopefully this will explain where I'm at as far as preparing to head out on my journey to the unknown, both to Africa and thereafter.

I am already having some weighty thoughts and my heart has become even more heavy as reality is sinking in. I mean my world was turned upside down after going to Haiti and ever since I have been back it's as if I have been restless. Ofcourse, I miss that village like crazy and especially the people. That's not the only reason I'm restless....it's the reality of poverty, pain and suffering. It's so heavy on my heart to where I feel as if I can't even breathe. My soul is going to burst any second! So with Haiti in my past and Swaziland in my future the heaviness has just gotten, well, heavier. Each day that get's closer to heading out to Africa I have been reminded of the desires and passions God has so intricately woven into my heart and very being. That passion is to sit in the dirt with the poorest of the poor. I desire to stand along side the orphan and diseased, to feed the hungry and clothe the naked. I desire to be a light in the dark places. I'm sick of being a light in a bright place. I'm sick of sitting in a cushioned pew. I'm sick of being comfortable.

It's so difficult to articulate all that I'm feeling, thinking, and experiencing. So to save this first blog I'll just post a video that I made on Sunday(feb 12). I wrote everything that's in the video on Friday(10) after I had a crazy dream on thursday(Feb 9) night.
Thursday I had a dream that there were sorta these two paths. One was full of fun activites such as rock climbing and all sorts of stuff and the other path had a child of every nationality represented dressed in rags...i woke up and my heart was overwhelmed and hurting. The weight of it all has began to become more real and i can no longer just sit still like everything is ok because it is not.
Please know that i am by no means pointing a finger at any of you because i have to blame myself too.

I hope you can see the yearning in my heart. Please pray with me. I know God reigns and is still in control in the midst of poverty and brokeness. In fact He teaches me more from the Poor and broken because deep down i am too.


http://youtu.be/Rn76uK3gi7E


Love,
Laura Beth Harbin